Where it all began…

Baby in Celebration painting.
I don’t plan to go into detail about my childhood.. suffice to say there were some harsh experiences… I more want to talk about things I saw all around me and the emotions evoked by witnessing and being at the receiving end of various life lessons…
I was born on 2nd December 1966 into an inner city council estate… 28 Nuneaton Drive.. Miles Platting.. Manchester.. UK.. was my birthplace.. I was born at home.. the second of 4 children… My dad was a builder and mum was a care assistant.. working with the elderly…
There’s lots of blanks in my childhood.. but one of my earliest memories.. was drawing on the bedroom wall at the side of my cot.. mum would let me too… 🙂
Another memory.. the nursery teachers.. pulling me off my mums legs.. I was traumatized and could never cope with school…
This isn’t easy.. to take my mind back into my childhood evokes too many negative emotions.. I hated my childhood in general.. hated that house and especially hated that area… The energies were dark and heavy.. unbearably so… It wasn’t so much the people.. they were all just victims of circumstance and most made the best of the hard hand of cards they’d been dealt.. it was just the general air that prevailed around there… It was a horrible area.. ten minutes walk from town centre.. surrounded by mills and not many trees… There was a canal about five minutes walk from the house that ran along side some of the mills… I could see what is now called Victoria mill from the front bedroom window.. I knew it as Hollands mill.. it looked massive and creepy to me.. the kids would say Anna Bella was up in the tower and would get you if you dared venture up there…
There were loads of paedo’s.. I couldn’t look out of my back bedroom window without being subject to a guy masturbating at his living room window at all the kids on the block it turned out… He’d beckon us over.. no way was I going.. he terrified and repulsed me…We’d put a front of bravado up.. but…
You’d play out and it was almost guaranteed you’d get flashed at or approached.. or you’d witness violence etc or be at the receiving end of it… Don’t get me wrong.. there was a community spirit too.. a lot of good honest people struggled to survive on these estates and I did have some fun times too.. usually getting up to mischief with my younger sister… 🙂
I’m aware I was hard work for mum… As a baby I had to be fed every hour and have medicine, due to digestion issues.. I just rocked and cried all the time apparently as a toddler.. I also stopped communicating or responding to anyone… I was sent for various tests, hearing etc. I was then sent to.. I think it was a child psychologist who decided I was actually advanced for my age and bored so I needed to be in school..???
How they came up with that one I don’t know.. what I do vaguely remember was I didn’t like any of them so did the opposite of everything they asked on the tests.. but not responding in any way to them only to defy everything they asked me to do…
I was put into the nursery at St Patricks.. a roman catholic convent school.. I was the youngest child to go into nursery back then…
The nuns were anything but gentle and loving in general.. some of them were really nasty… I found school hostile and scary and I’d sneak off to the paint boards on the corridor and lose myself in a painting.. they always found me there and would punish me for getting off… There was one nun though.. ” Sister Conceilia ” she loved me and radiated pure love and beauty.. I used to wonder why she was a nun.. she was too nice to be one of them… She sort of got me and would look out for me… 🙂
Right I’m going to leave it at this point.. my body’s shaking and I’m welling up.. I’ll be ok though.. it’s just a remembered emotion and will pass as soon as I take my focus from this post… 🙂
Now too channel out this feeling in a positive way.. I’m off to do some plasterwork or continue on my ” Ekata ” painting… I’ll continue when I feel able again… I realise the above may appear a bit random and maybe a bit fragmented.. but I just have to let out what comes through… You will get the general idea I hope in the end.. as to what moulded me back then and right up to present day… 🙂
Section of " Celebration " painting
Have a magical day/eve… 🙂
Jen.xxx

About Arthouse Wijn-Ton.

Creative being @ Arthouse Wijn-Ton..
This entry was posted in Art garden, Art therapy, Arthouse Wijn-Ton., Arthouse., Calm in the storm., childhood abuse., Drawing., Fine Art., Healing journey, Interior Design, Landscape gardening, Live music., Music, Oil paintings, Original song., Ornamental garden., Outsider art, Paintings, Poetry..., Pondering., Sculpture, The storm. and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Where it all began…

  1. Plenty enough detail here to learn a great deal more about you than ever before Jennifer. You know it is the stress in deep subterranean rock that produces a substance most valued in the world (diamonds). You have been polishing your rough stone to produce a work of unique quality with exceptional beauty and craftsmanship. enjoy a beautiful day dear friend, Eddie

    • Wow thank you Eddie.. your kind words really touched me there… Life was quite a challenge all around during my childhood and has been in various ways since.. until the last couple of years that is… There was many a time I just felt totally overwhelmed and questioned ” why me? “…
      Life is blissful now in comparison.. I’m just working on myself on the physical health front now… 🙂
      I also now know my life purpose and intend to achieve my new goals one day.. just as I have largely achieved the goals I set myself when I moved into this place… 🙂
      I wish you a beautiful day too.. big hugs your way..!
      Jen. xxx

  2. Lady Jude says:

    I really love your Corrie painting Jennifer, you’ve got so much detail in there…

    • Thank you Jude… The ” Celebration ” painting has just been brought out of it’s box and been hung to work on again… I have some great ideas floating around in my head.. which would be so relevant to the meaning of the painting and hopefully.. finally bring it to a state of completion that I’m happy with… 🙂
      Big hugs your way..!
      Jen. xxx

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