Wow, time flies doesn’t it! 2 posts in as many years and again it’s already 11 days since I posted that I’m back! Things have changed a bit around here, especially within myself. Life’s good, family are all ok etc. I’m a lot more laid back now and the creativity did take a back seat, still does to an extent. I consider myself retired and just appreciate each and every day I’m here. πŸ˜‰

Things are still slowly going forward though and it has been a long time since I posted up to date pics, so I guess the difference will show. I have a couple of jobs to do though, before I take them, but it should be soon now hopefully. πŸ˜‰ In the meantime, here’s a reminder of how the garden looked etc, when I was last about hereπŸ˜‰.

Have a beautiful day/eve, Jen. XXX.Photo1148Photo1653Photo1662Photo1654Photo1649Photo1647Back gardenCentral top of fireplace

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I’m back πŸ˜‰πŸ˜˜ XXX.

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Be back soon…

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It’s been a year since I last posted here. I’ve had a lot going on, but I’ll be back very soon now. ☺The creativity continued where possible, especially in the back garden. There’s been some major changes out there, but … Continue reading

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” Be still ” New version. (C) Arthouse Wijn-Ton 2012.

Jen. XXX 😊🎼🎨

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” Nowhere to reside. ” New song. (C) Arthouse Wijn-Ton 2015. :)

Jen. xxx

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Self Removal.



At present…



Jen. XXX

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Austere Britain. Hostile Britain. My viewpoint. 28/7/ 2015.


A while back, I wrote a post, in it I talked a little about who I am, where I was born etc. I’ve never really elaborated on my circumstances or daily challenges, me I’d rather focus on the good, the magic, the essence of my creative realm. I always felt that if I did elaborate on my life, I may, or my family may and probably would be judged by some. I wanted folk to see who I really am, the creative being.

We all, as humans, I believe, come to this realm, to learn and expand our conciousness as a collective. Whether we like it or not, these life lessons are to teach and empower us as a collective. Problem with this system though, is that, I truly believe we are all enslaved, no need for shackles any more, a mind enslaved, is as much in shackles as the ” prisoner ” in the dock. ” Divide and conquer, ” well they’ve certainly succeeded on that front to a large degree haven’t they?

They rule by fear and judgement, also propaganda from the TV and mass media. I’ll go into that aspect further at some point, but today I’m generalizing.

In recent times in Britian, the ” Welfare reforms ” were brought in, but prior to that, propaganga ” shows” like, ” Benefit Britain ” were aired, also ” talk shows like Β ” Jeremy Kyle ” Β ( I call him Jizza vile, because what he’s doing is nothing short of vile… ) amongst many other “shows ” No true picture is being shown, only vilification of the poor and vunerable…. It’s disgusting and wrong, there’s plenty enough to go around this planet, but greedy currupt bastards in power, keep us on our knees, just so they can have it all to themselves.

I’m seeing and experiencing first hand, these ” Welfare reforms “. Does that shock you? How could someone with my gifts, be in this position? Yes ask yourselves that question, because I’ve asked it for over 30 years now, no provision made for the likes of me. I’m treated like something you’d wipe off your feet because of my situation, that is, until they see my art, then I must be mad or something, or lacking in some way.

This is sort of the case, in a way. I have been challenged with severe migraines all my life, to control them, I have to stay in most of the time. Everything I do can trigger them, so I have to be careful, as my creativity, is also a compulsion. My way of dealing with things. Because I’m an ” Aspien woman ” I also have hyper focus and a high pain barrier, I can overide almost any pain, if my mind is in creative mode, as I have to get the vision in my mind out. I have dedicated my full life to honing my skills and aquiringΒ new skills, I’ve also spent the majority of my adult life, trying to break free of the situation I’m in. I went as far as writing to the prime minister a good few years back. Many have come along and fed me words, also many have used my situation to their advantage.

Around four years ago roughly, my body paid the price for overworking it and hardly eating anything etc, I wasn’t aware that I was in constant ” fight or flight mode ” and always had been. Fear had ruled me all my life, anxiety being my constant companion.

All of a sudden, it felt like anyway, my legs didn’t work properly, I reckon that was from doing 25 hour shifts stood on ladders and of course, malnutrition. I had paid dearly for my vocation. I had to take stock, if I wasn’t able to achieve what I wanted to achieve, it would finish me. Amongst other things, I had to stop buying materials and going without to do so. I have worked on myself since to undo the self harm done to my body as a result of my compulsion getting out of control. Fear driven, that’s what it was back then ( what if the welfare benefits were scrapped, being my main one. ) I can only work efficiently in here, as I’ve been challenged amongst other things, with ” Social anxiety ” which in turn triggers bad headaches, blah blah. ) There was nothing apparently for the likes of me, that’s what I was told anyway.

Life’s certainly been challenging, that’s for sure, frustrating too at times, as I would wonder why I’d been blessed with these gifts, yet nothing had come of them, where I would finally be able to earn my own till, in a way that’s compatible with me. Especilly being a mother, you want the best for your children. I didn’t plan to be a single parent, but I was ” emotionally damaged ” too from trauma’s, so made poor choices back then.

I’m one of the lucky ones though, I’ve come to realise, there’s far worse hands dealt to folk, I see it regulary. Especially since the wefare reforms were introduced, I’ve witnessed the results, you wouldn`t treat an animal the way these poor people are being treated and that includes people with disabilities! It’s shocking and downright disgusting! They say ” get a job ” There’ s none to be had for most.

Most people in social housing, have endured some form of abuse, if not constant abuse. Adult’s that were once the kids people profess to care about, victims of paedophillia, physical and emotional abuse, children who’s parents were abused, I could go on, one guy I spoke to for example, who worked for an organisation that were supposed to be helping people ( That’s another story ). He was shocked, he reckoned 99% of people on social housing estates have been or are, victims of some form of abuse.

The schools are also set up for the kids to fail, now you can’t even bring your own children up, they seek to clone them and have them grow up without love and family closeness and people wonder why this society’s fucked up? This system bred all this, now they seek to divide and cull, because what else is it? People going without food for 4 days to pay ” bedroom tax ” on their HOMES, yeh their HOMES and that includes this place, MY HOME. Only for my son’s kindness, I would be in the same position.

I qualify for the lowest rates of DLA, when my ” conditions “combined, as I’m told, warrant a higher rate. It was hard enough in the first place to be awarded it, but after an appeal held in my house ( which totally traumatized me btw. ) I was Finally awarded it. The reason it’s not higher? Because I overide the pain to create and have done this place. Also I refuse to take prescribed pills on the whole, as I’m aware of how long term damage is caused. I believe in a holistic approach. I also have a doctor who largely dismisses me, I mean how can I function if I am the way I say I am? ( I don’t even want to go, but am forced to, so there’s ” proof ” for the benefits. ) In other words, I must be exagerating or something, no point in changing docs though, as his ” opinion ” will be carried over with the medical records he chose to record… I won’t even look at the copy I have, because it’ll incense me. I’d had my compulsion finally recognised at the last appeal at my home, I was given it for 5 years when I re applied. The welfare rights urged me appeal for a higher rate, even though I didn’t want to. The result? Four years were taken from me, despite her reassurance that nothing would be affected by my appealing. Dealing with the DSS is so traumatic for me, more so than anything I’ve lived, I have to relive all my challenges, they ask questions I can’t answer, timescales etc, it blows my mind and sets me back to square one. Now thanks to this system, I have to do it all again next year. Seeing no way out of my situation after making every effort is quite overwhelming…

So, see where I was at and in many ways still am? Why is this when I have so much to offer? It’s not like my work hasn’t been seen. Β Is it because I’m from a council estate, born and bred and might reveal how it really is? Well fuck you’s that’s EXACTLY what I plan to do…

I’ve achieved this place with hardly anything, but I paid the price too. I just ” slipped through the net ” yet again, back to square one eh, yeh right. πŸ™‚

Me being me, has this to quote springing to mind at this point, ” There’s fight in the old dog yet ” Now is the time to speak MY TRUTH. How many others like me eh? I know many personally and feel powerless at present to be able to help them, I have to be in a position to do so first, but I’ll not stop trying and I do have a plan, but in the meantime I need to finish my picture here, even if I have to pay to do so. ( Hard one to swallow that one but hey ho, I’m better off than many others. πŸ™‚

Right on that note, I’m off to start my day, not sure what I’m doing yet, I’ll just go with the flow and trust the universe, I felt to write this today. ( Ie; my inner guidence system urged me to do so. ) I am NOT ashamed of who I am or where I was born and if people want to judge me based on this shallow system’s version of success, then so be it, that’s their reality and their business. I’ll just crack on being true to myself and hopefully in the end it’ll all come together and I’ll be able to do what I really desire to do and that’s to bring about awareness and possibly change in my own little way.

No person is better than another, we all come from source energy. How we choose to be though is down to ourselves. I choose the light and love and all it encompasses.


Jen. XXX πŸ˜―πŸ˜‰πŸ˜€


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Update on creative endeavours… 30/06/2015… :)

I know it’s been a while since I updated here, to be honest, I rather enjoyed just slipping back into my own little world, it’s a beautiful place to just ” BE “. I was dithering on whether to just leave my space on private, but after a chat last night with a kindred soul, I decided to open it up again this morning. πŸ˜‰
Life has many challenges, for me too. I get overwhelmed at times, just like the next person, I’m lucky to have been blessed with my gifts, that enable me to escape from ” what is ” sometimes, gifts that empower me, no matter what is going on.
I do feel especially of late, that my work is spiritually based, that I just channel each creation from higher forces, it being relative to whatever comes into my reality. My songs, especially the last few, I feel have been messages of positivity and hope, usually relative to a particular person or event. I wrote a song three weeks ago and uploaded it onto my u tube space.
The song relates to a visit by my brother, where we got into deep conversation. Life’s challenges etc were discussed and bits of our childhood too. After he left, I was pondering, as you do, feeling for him and for myself too. Poignant memories of our shared love of music and dancing, we’d just play that music and dance life’s challenges right out of our system, so invigorating and empowering, almost tribal πŸ™‚
The tune was there, the lyrics followed the next morning. πŸ™‚
” The freedom song ” (C) Arthouse Wijn-Ton 2015.

I’ve been busy in this place, nothing’s changed on that front, but I’ve not focused as much on the creativity, as I’ve been space clearing, doing long overdue jobs and a general overhaul to give a new lease of life in here.
I’ve also been very busy in the back garden and it’s looking much better for it. I’ll upload pictures soon.
On the paining front, the” Ekata ” painting is coming along nicely and I’ve drawn out and started an oil painting on my bedroom wall. πŸ™‚ I’ll also upload pictures soon of the progression so far.
For now though, that sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day, so I’m going to crack on with my latest creative endeavour out there. πŸ˜‰
TTFN. Have a magical day!
Love and peace… πŸ™‚
Jen. xxx

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Update on creative endeavours… 07/02/2015… :)

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a post here.. my apologies for that.. but I needed to step back and actually have a life beyond the creativity and focus on improving my well being… I now feel more on form and have been doing some creative stuff.. albeit not a lot in comparison to what I’d normally do… πŸ™‚
On that note… πŸ˜‰
Last year I captured the formation of a song.. I named it ” Freeflow… ” ( It’s in the February section of last year’s posts on this space… ) Anyway finally after a long wait. the lyrics came through.. also some added parts to the tune… πŸ˜€ It was well worth the wait for me.. I feel I’ve taken the next step with this particular one.. it’s not quite finished yet.. I have to add a bar between part one and two and brush it up a tad.. but it’s nearly there and I thought I’d share the moment it came through.. with you… πŸ˜€
So here goes.. the song is now titled ” Angel dear… ” As per.. as with all my songs.. it was filmed on my laptop and was filmed to capture the magical moment the lyrics were channelled through.. not the greatest sound quality.. but a magical moment indeed… πŸ˜€

I’ve also been working on my ” Ekata ” painting and I’m happy with the progression so far… The style reminds me of the ” Lady of the dance ” painting.. also the ” Celebration painting… ( I’ve had some great ideas for the next stage of that one… )
Below is a picture of the progression so far… πŸ™‚
" Ekata " in progression.
Here’s another two pictures showing sections of the detail in it…
" Ekata " Section of detail.
Spudz and Beanz.. my two ” Ragdoll cats ” I say that term for them very loosely… mmmm ( eyes rolling.. Rag Jen.. each other and the house more like… ) They’re a pair of characters and have me chuckling.. they’re great… πŸ˜€ Such independent not so little guys. free spirits for sure… πŸ˜€
Here’s a recent pic of them chilling early this morning next to the ” Ekata ” painting…
Right time for me go get back to my painting.. I’ve been working on it for most of the day and am really enjoying doing this particular painting… πŸ™‚
Have a magical day/eve… πŸ™‚
Jen. xxx

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Thoughts and some pics too… :)

Previous posts left me with a lot of mind chatter.. random memories popping up etc… I had to step back again.. to balance memories and associated feelings and emotions with creativity and positive things… It feels like I’m a different person now and all that stuff seems a lifetime ago…
I’ve questioned.. “Do I really want to tread those paths of distant memories again..? ” A big part of me doesn’t want to.. but it’s all made me who I am today.. so a bit of conflict going on in those quarters… Today I’ll just share some images with you.. my life at present.. a simple life.. but very fulfilling never the less…
No matter how I feel.. my eyes see the beauty that’s all around me.. that in itself makes me truly grateful for where I am today… Many fare far worse than I could ever even conceive.. I’m very aware of that and know that I was only touched with life lessons in comparison and was lucky enough to be given my gifts to counterbalance the many dark times in my life…
The biggest thing I did learn in order to appreciate what I do have.. is to just look out at that world.. the atrocities.. the horrendous suffering inflicted by humans onto other humans and anything else they can destroy… My little world is like a tiny sliver of heaven in comparison.. how could I not be grateful..?
Anyway.. here’s the pics.. have a magical day… πŸ™‚
Jen. xxx
Nany and Lewis
The final pic is of my latest oil painting.. ” Ekata ” that I have on going at present amongst other stuff… πŸ™‚ The word.. ” Ekata” is a Himalayan ( if I remember correctly ) word.. meaning ” unity ” …
I’m a bit further on than in the above pic and will post a progression pic on my next post… πŸ™‚
Right on that note.. I’m off to do a bit more on my painting… πŸ™‚
Jen. xxx

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